Posts

Image
There haven't been any posts lately because as I sit to type, the words that I want to type get smothered by emotions or the need to flee.  So I'll start by sharing some simple images from our acreage that bring me tranquility. Over the years I've dug up these wild daisies from the slopes on Boulder Creek Road before the board has them mowed down.  The daisies also seed themselves in places throughout the woods, between rocks, and in areas so dry that I could never get anything to grow there.  I unexpectedly found this wonderful surprise behind stacked firewood in our woods. Their roots spread shallow needing very little moisture or or humans fussing with them.  They flourish just popping up in unexpected spots.   Outside the garden fence................... Along a path to the garden................... Inside the garden fence near the beets and compost.................. When I come across some where they may be tread on, it's easy to loosen the roots and give them a new
Image
 We received lots of information this morning from our doctor, asked lots of questions, and got a few issues cleared up.  Cliff will be seeing him every seven to ten days for a quick blood draw and check on his leg edema to keep him out of clinics and hospitals. He gave us some suggestions on handing pressure and emotions that pop up during the difficult days.   We both felt good after the consult this morning.  Cliff needs to prop up his feet during his rest time. I need to get back to my exercise, whatever it is I choose to do, and we need to take breaks from each other when we get on each others nerves.   Last night Cliff showed up at his Station 25 training and was warmly welcomed back.  It's been a couple of months since he's been on any calls or to any training but his volunteers have been in constant contact checking on him.  Since there was no chemo Monday he felt well enough to try the meeting.  What a boost to his moral......a feel of normalcy.  After telling one of h
Image
 First of all, I goofed on yesterday's report of normal blood results.  They were not normal.  The numbers were all over the place due to the chemo.  He was released because he didn't have cellulitis and the doctor doubled his Lasix Rx to relieve the fluid causing the redness and pain in both legs.  Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we will follow up with our doctor.  Cliff went to his chemo appointment this morning and had a good discussion with the PA.  It upsets him that he never gets to see or talk to the doctor, only a PA.  No chemo today because of the blood results.  He's feeling quite well today. On the way home from the clinic he wanted a full breakfast at the Sawmill so he ordered a pancake, two eggs over easy, and an order of bacon.  His eyes are fully opened today, color is good, and he's up and around doing little tasks.  Usually by the weekend he begins showing signs of normalcy where he can carry on a full conversation and get involved in life again.  Then chemo
This morning's post was all typed and close to being published when I accidentally hit one vile key that deleted the whole page.  Let's see what I can recall and get this published before I delete it again......... Yesterday morning around 11 we ended up in Fannin ER thinking that Cliff had developed cellulitis in his legs.  Earlier in the week he noticed consistent leg swelling with little relief.  By Friday it was worse but didn't call our doctor because he had a one p.m. appointment scheduled with our optometrist.  Friday night both legs were painfully swollen and red.  Saturday morning when he called our doc, we were told to go to the ER for evaluation.  We had to wait, though, because the new microwave was being delivered and needed to be inspected for approval and our acceptance signature.  Whenever we go anywhere now, I have an insulated bag with Ensure, pretzels, Propel, peppermints, fruit yogurt cup and spoon in case he needs them. One thing I've found helpful
Image
 Thursday, April 29.................... Yesterday was comatose day for Cliff.  He was so cold that he cuddled under his electric blanket and the house heat was set on 75.  I spent the day outside.  I cleaned my side of the garage throwing away junk that hadn't been used in the twelve years we been here, vacuumed the Kia, reorganized the shelves and now we actually have space on the shelves.  I then did a little gardening, planted a few more greens and watered all the container gardens and the big garden.  In the afternoon I sat on the back porch, while he continued to sleep, in my hammock swing and enjoyed............ Cliff is doing a little better today with eating, drinking, and having awake time.  He's still tired and sleeps off and on but comes up for air more often.  Yesterday and this morning he drank a smoothie that I made for myself containing banana, blueberries, and strawberries, almond milk, and chia seeds for protein.  I was pleased that it actually appealed to him.
Image
 Friday  April 23............. Cliff's son, James, arrived Thursday afternoon in his cop car. James buys cars that speak to him, have character, and restores them.  His is a mechanical genius.  Not his career, his hobby.  He drove this from Rhode Island arriving on Thursday afternoon to spend time with his father.  Helping his father set up Zoom for Piedmont nutritionist and physiologist meetings while we journey through this adventure.   Took James to Helen,GA today, not too distant a drive for Cliff and barely any tourists.     We always stop at Hansel and Gretel for fudge when we go to Helen, the only time we eat fudge and overload out body with sugar.  Sign on Hansel and Gretel Candy Shop........................ So many fragrant sweet flowers in bloom as we walked through the city.   Cliff's appetite is still strong and he's got strength in his legs again.  It's been a good week for him to eat whatever appeals to him in preparation for Monday's chemo. 
Image
 Yesterday was quite rough for Cliff.  Sunday night was sleepless due to terrible anxiety about Monday's chemo treatment. The thought of his immune system tanking after chemo was overwhelming.  Our doctor gave Cliff some tips and advice on how to take charge of the situation and be in control of his healing.  He had a good patient-to-doctor conversation Monday morning and after the blood work came back, it was decided that he would skip that chemo,  return next Monday for a lesser dose and after that treatment he would have blood work again Wednesday.  Most of Monday was spent napping.  After a much more relaxed sleep last night, he ate well and felt better today. Our Carolina wrens fledged from the nest.  No more peeping sounds and the nest is empty.  Cliff went down to the garden with me today, fixed the chicken wire fence so the deer can't get in and walk all over my spinach and Swiss chard, then relaxed in the sun with his sherbet.  We have two bluebird houses at the edge o