When the phone rang late this morning and Mark's name showed up, fear and anxiety took over my mind. Mark rarely calls and it's always in the evening if he does. Mark sends quick texts. Not a great one as his brother, John, for conversation.  My first question when I answered was are you okay? He gave a little chuckle and agreed it was out of character and his routine to call, especially during the day.  Mark has been driving package deliveries for Uber and Walmart while he's between jobs and was sitting in the Walmart loading zone for a twenty minute wait before he could pick up his next load and decided to call me. Somethings are just too much information to text so he called to ask how I was handling my issues. 

Since the shed was moved almost two months ago, I've been waiting for the driveway to be graded and the hole filled in.  In order to have the shed moved a couple of volunteers moved all the huge container gardens to various places around the yard damaging the plants that I had started from seed.  For two months these poor plants have been stored on hills and in shade and scattered all over.  They've been in rain and winds, neglected for needed watering and not cared for as I should because of being scattered.  Some are now broken and lacking sun.  Two people offered to grade for free.  One hasn't had the time and they other just never came to do it.  Neither communicated that they weren't going to so last week I hired the guy who grades our road figuring at least I know he'll show.  I don't mind paying and it will be done right.  So next week this guy will call to give me a day and time.  The porch and house was pressure washed as a favor by a friend but the pressure was so forceful I know need to pay someone to stain the whole place.  So I'm getting estimates from a few people.  Last week the refrigerator leaked under the fruit and veggies drawer so I packed towels,figured I had better turn off the ice maker, removed the drawers and soaked up with three thick towels all the water.  Maybe this doesn't sound all that critical but when you are not able to bounce issues off your spouse or get ideas, it's critical.  Handling  so many problems alone and wondering what to do about so many issues that pop up is mind boggling.  Some problems face me when my feet hit the floor getting out of bed.Yesterday the fridge repair guy finally got here at 5 for his 1 o'clock scheduled.  He was that booked.  After taking everything out of the fridge and taking everything apart,he found the problem was the tube at the bottom of the fridge was clogged.  He cleaned it and was gone.  This morning I was wakened by a loud whirring noise coming from the fridge.  Lucky for me he accidentally left his tools here among the food on all the counters and shelves and called me that evening to ask if I would put them on the porch and he's get them in the morning.  I placed a fluorescent sticky note that the fridge was making a loud noise in case I didn't see him come to the porch.  He came in and found the tube that he had cleaned our and replaced had shifted and was leaning on a fan.  Fixed it and left.

So this is what my days are like.  This is only a few of the issues I face and deal with each week.  All this and trying to get in my walks, remember to brush my teeth, weed whack, go to the dump, even brush my hair, find things to laugh about, and too many people tell me I NEED to get a dog.  People need too stop telling me what I need.  I need to mentally get through this first year.  My doctor told me it takes about a year to process the grief and begin to feel human again.  It's all normal.  I can do it.  It's easier after a good relaxing night sleep.  

Thanks for listening.................off to Walmart.  Running low on toilet paper and paper towels!

and while i was typing, I kept losing internet.............